Self-sabotage or addiction are NOT a sign of weakness
Have you been hard on yourself, because you’re procrastinating, overeating or numbing yourself with substances?
Society tells you that there’s something wrong with you and you should pull yourself together and be better than this.
Well, that’s really not the whole story. In my experience (from my own life experiences as well as working with clients) self-sabotage and addiction are natural responses to trauma and deep wounding.
They are survival instincts that help you go on with your life even in adverse conditions.
In simplified terms you could say:
* You overeat to keep yourself cozy and warm and make up for the love you were missing.
* You numb yourself with alcohol or netflix shows to ease the pain of emotional abuse or neglect you experienced.
* You overwork and keep yourself busy to show how capable you are and to receive the appreciation you have been craving.
It might sound too easy to pin everything down in your childhood, but there’s enough scientific evidence that our childhood and adolescence are the crucial time where our brain forms circuits in response to our environment.
If as a child you never felt safe around your parents or in the school you went to, you are likely to perceive the whole world as a scary place and your brain is doing everything it can to protect you from experiencing pain again.
As an adult this can be hindering, though. If fear of being hurt keeps you in hiding and staying away from friendships, love and deep connection with others, you’ll miss out on a source of healing and joy.
So whenever I work with clients on these topics (whether they are consciously aware of them or not), we will be guided to connect with the inner child. When your inner child is seen, heard and received without judgment, s/he can start to feel safe again.
It’s a beautiful process that can help you release so much of the self-judgment and shame that was put onto you. You will start to see the bigger picture and understand that you were only a child and you did the best you could.
You can start to give yourself the love, support and understanding you need. You can be the protective, loving, caring parent you didn’t have.
The energy usually shifts at some point and then this new information “clicks” into your system. It’s different for everybody how much integration time you’ll need, but you’ll see changes in your life without having to “pull yourself together” and all this inner struggle.
The habits that were meant to keep you safe are simply no longer needed. You can then make a conscious choice to let them go and replace them with new habits that allow you to thrive.
That’s where the magic really happens and you’ll feel a weight lifted from your shoulders. Your life force can come in stronger and you’ll start to feel a new love for life.
Life is not supposed to be a struggle. You deserve to be happy and enjoy every moment of it!
Does this resonate? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences around this.
And if this is something you’ve been struggling with and you feel drawn to me and my way of working, I’d love to hold space for you. You deserve to let go of what’s holding you back and embrace the beauty of life.
I’m here for you, brave, beautiful soul.
Sending you lots of love ❤️
Deborah
Intuitive Channel | Soul Mentor
www.deborahkindermann.com